"A happy wife, makes a happy life...."
Whoever said marriage had to be perfect? Author and passionate speaker, Lakia "The Wife Coach" Brandenburg has created her own dynamic platform to approach these kinds of questions, focusing on redefining your perception of marriage and creating a “Picture Perfect” union based on imperfections. Armed with a family of her own, Lakia specializes in the beauty of maintaining that real love, real intimacy, and real happiness. Now that's a recipe for REAL success. Check out the official entrepreneur highlight with Lakia Brandenburg below:
IMM: How did you first become interested in counseling and coaching?
LB: It’s funny because I didn’t know I was interested in coaching until two of my friends (who I was mentoring at the time) started calling me their wife coach. What I didn’t realize is that I was already “coaching” women indirectly through my books that are relationship/marriage-based. Since women were able to relate to the teachings in my book, I started officially coaching women in one-on-one sessions, which turned into premarital couples coaching and my signature six-week masterclass, Teach Me How to be a Wife.
IMM: What pivotal moments in your life did you realize your greatest strengths?
LB: Any moment I wanted to quit, I tapped into my strength (in reserve). Like marriage, entrepreneurship is not for the weak at heart. It takes a lot of courage and faith to take a risk and follow your dreams, and I would find myself ready to throw in the towel when my dream didn’t unfold the way I wanted it to. Whenever I found myself at this point, I would have my moment (cry, fuss, cuss, etc). I would pray to God for wisdom, and then lean on my #1 client––my husband, to support me through it all.
IMM: Explain to us the meaning behind “The Power of P.”
LB: Ha! This is a favorite phrase of mine because “P” can stand for anything, especially when it comes to talking about a woman! LOL! The Power of the “P” is my way of reminding wives and wives-to-be that they have influence in their position as a wife. It’s understanding who you are in your marriage, how to show up in your marriage, and how to use that position of power for good in your marriage.
IMM: How do you keep your own marriage balanced between being a mom and being a CEO? What are some of your best health, fitness, and business practices?
LB: That’s the million dollar question: How do you balance it all? The key is to create some form of balance so you can live in harmony. Did you catch that? Balance will look differently for every marriage, and even within that marriage, it can look different by the day or by the week. You have to define what balance looks like for you and your family, schedule your week on paper, ask for help and adjust accordingly!
My daily morning runs is my happy place and keeps me mentally healthy as well as physically fit. I’m also a fake Vegan/Pescatarian. Let me explain. Basically, hubby and I have stopped eating meat. (It started off as a challenge and we never went back). So now we do our best to select healthier options when it comes to food.
My business practices had to improve this year and this is why some areas of my life were out of balance before. Last year, I realized that I was still operating in my business as an “employee” which meant I couldn’t work on my business. So my one major business practice involved hiring a business coach to bring some order and balance and improve my overall business practices.
IMM: When you're not coaching couples and having one-on-one sessions, what are a few of your guilty pleasures?
LB: Sitting in the bed, eating my all-time favorite snack: microwave popcorn (or Target popcorn), and watching old sitcoms like Martin and Living Single OR catching a few episodes of a reality TV show, providing unsolicited commentary to the talent on screen in between stuffing my mouth with a fist full of popcorn.
IMM: In your opinion, what’s the number one issue affecting married couples today and how can they fix it?
LB: The common answer might be the reason why most couples divorce: finances, lack of communication, irreconcilable differences ... but I say setting unrealistic expectations. Couples get married with an “idea” of what marriage is supposed to look like, what it’s supposed to feel like, how it’s supposed to work, and this is from their own perceptions. It’s not based on reality and this causes issues with how they communicate, how they handle finances, and more. The way to fix this is to redefine your perception of marriage and this is something I teach both women and men to do in my first book, He’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. But together we’re ... Picture Perfect.
IMM: In today’s society, what advice would you give to singles looking for love?
LB: It’s simple. Stop looking for love and make yourself available to be found. Even Cinderella had to break free from the tower and be in position to be recognized by her prince charming (Don’t believe? Watch the movie again). I would also encourage singles to create a list of everything you desire in your significant other. Put it on paper (not just physical attributes but personality, beliefs, goals, etc.) and then, become the list.
IMM: If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be, and would you use it on your husband?
LB: Well, I use it already! (wink, wink). But if there was another superpower it would be to make my husband put the toilet seat down and change the toilet paper roll automatically. It would be the Charmin superpower!
IMM: In your book, “The Tiara: 5 Ways To Reign As Queen of Your Castle,” you go into detail on next steps for wives after they say “I Do.” Is there anything you struggled with after saying “I Do?”
LB: I struggled with taming my tongue, which is the “T in Tiara. I was talking the way I had always talked to me and didn’t even know that my sarcasm, my short, temperamental attitude with my hubby were damaging our communication and relationship. It wasn’t until my husband told me that I wasn’t easy to talk and I grew tired of not having peace or getting upset at the pettiest things, that I started to pay attention to my actions and made the decision to change the way I communicated. I did some soul searching to see where my communication style originated from and how it was negatively impacting my relationship with my hubby.
IMM: You openly speak about your parents’ marriage when you were a child. How did that experience shape your views on love and relationships?
LB: My parents’ failed relationship was my first example of what marriage looked like. I witnessed my father both mentally and physically abusing my mother (but I saw her do the same thing to him too). It made me view love as hard, mean, argumentative, and unhappy. My perception was shaped by their interactions, both good and bad, and I carried this perception with me in the relationships that I entertained.
IMM: Fill in the blank: In an alternative universe, you and (celebrity name, dead or alive) would be doing what?
LB: Aaliyah and I would be on tour and I would be her background dancer (and I would be holding the Dance Captain position, of course) LOL!
IMM: You have a Masterclass coming up at the end of January. What else can we expect from The Wife Coach in 2019?
LB: Teach Me How to be a Wife is about to be a game changer for real! I’m beyond excited for the wives who have enrolled and the changes that they will begin to see in themselves and their marriages. Outside of my masterclass, you can expect to see me pushing out more masterclasses, hosting retreats and staycations, speaking at women’s empowerment conferences and leaving room for God’s plan to have its way too.
~~~Well, IMM wishes you all the best, and then some, sis! ~~~